Help

After yet another long, busy day yesterday of an art festival, shopping and some more shopping for those little things that keep popping up on our list, I was completely zapped. Nothing in this world has the ability so suck the life out of me quite like Walmart. I still get extremely overwhelmed each time I walk into the store and go completely blank immediately after entering and always have to take a moment to look around and take it all in with my mouth hanging wide, no doubt. It is just so big. And so busy. I literally have to do a mental prep before I enter and do a check, double check, triple check for my list, then hold is tight because I am nothing without it.


So we came home around dark, all of us hungry and tired and wanting food but I haven't been too aggressive in stocking the kitchen because stocking up takes money and I have a serious phobia when it comes to spending. But I am going to fix the kitchen problem asap. Its a must. Because I am no good without food, as you are about to see.


So Nyah and I, and Jude and Elsa, all got settled in on our bed couch, which we are currently using until we purchase a popper sofa, in attempts to decompress before food, bath, story, and bed. Jude was nursing, Elsa was bouncing on my legs and Nyah butted in right in front of Elsa to get in on the Mommy action. I simply pulled her off my lap with one hand, not able to take a single person more on me. And I guess after a day of working on not interrupting and following instructions the first time they are given, she was over it. After being pulled off my lap, she so sweetly looked at me with her wide beautiful eyes and stated that, "You are a grumpy Mommy. You are a bad Mommy, just like Rapunzel's Mommy."


And just in case you aren't as well versed on your fairy tales as my fairly tale loving four year old, let me just fill you in. The Mommy she was referring to is the wicked woman who stole Rapunzel from her crib, from the castle, and from her parents in the newly vamped Disney version of Rapunzel called, Tangled. In this version, similar to the original story, the woman locks Rapunzel away in a tower, never lets her out, lets Rapunzel's hair grow, and often calls for Rapunzle to "Let down your hair!" Only so she can come up and pretend to love Rapunzel as a mother would, but really uses Rapunzel for her hair, which has special powers that allow the woman to retain her youth. 


So there it was. The words no mother wants to hear and Nyah's true feelings. She thinks I suck at this mother thing, the only job I truly care about in life and the only thing I desperately want to do successfully. George, of course, advised that I shouldn't take her so serious, she is only four years old and I couldn't help but think, exactly. She is only four years old. She is more innocent and pure now then she will ever be. She is not yet aware of purposely saying things to hurt another. She is only capable of telling the truth and in this case she was best able to get the truth out by relating me to the only mean "mother" she knows, not and evil step mother, oh no, but a woman who steals a child.


So, of course, I spent much of last night and today trying to recover from that blow and completely re analyzing myself and my life and trying to figure out how to be a better mother, a better person, and how to get more sleep with all the runny noses up in here. 


And so I guess this is a call for help. Advise is needed from much better and wiser mothers because I am feeling like such a failure. Is this a normal thing for kid to tell their Mom? Or am I just that sucky? I need help because it might come as a big surprise, but guess what? I am totally sucking at the recovery from this one. I almost feel as bad as the time I locked Elsa in the hot truck. 


Thanks in advance from one humbled Momma.